Crystal Waltz

Thoughts about spiritual development, manifesting reality, and raising vibration, along with parenting without fear.

Monday, August 28, 2006

From Yehuda Berg......

Did you yell at your wife, boss, dry cleaner, or brother last week? You do know they’re not the enemy, right?

This week’s Torah portion starts off with the phrase, “When you go forth to battle against your enemies...” The Zohar explains that the enemies are not people...

...they are our thoughts.

Like any good military tactician, our Opponent uses other people as decoys so that we don’t deal with the real enemy - our negative thoughts that keep us stuck and frustrated.

An example of this would be your boss coming to you and saying, “I think you should go over this proposal one more time.” A typical response from you might be to get angry and to start thinking what a jerk he is. In this situation, the real enemy is not your boss, it’s your ego. It’s thinking your work doesn’t need a second look or that you are inadequate and this is the best you can do.

Like most people, you might want to choke your boss. But instead of choking your boss, choke your Opponent for bombarding you with these “screw the boss” thoughts that keep you from improving your work.

This week, witness your thoughts. Replace the negative ones with positive ones such as “This person is bothering me because there is something I need to fix” or “I don’t see the big picture, so I will restrict my judgments.”

These are split-second decisions made in the heat of the moment, and they’re never easy. But the more you replace “I’m gonna get you, sucka’” with “Where can I improve” thoughts, the easier it will become to hit the switch.

All the best,


I thought everyone would enjoy this week's "Consciousness Tune-Up" by Yehuda Berg. Since it's on the subject of "ego", I thought it appropriate. Also, since I am back in the workplace and teaching school, it is very meaningful at this time in my life. God Bless!! Crystal

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Resisting Gravity

I never told Angelle that she couldn't climb like a monkey. I never emphasized the "what if you fall" idea. I never forbade her to climb to the very top of the playground in the park and sit on top of the roof of the thing. I've always let her climb trees. I've always sat there nervously, with a smile on my face and encouraging words on my lips as she achieved these feats. Why interject fear?

She wants to try gymnastics. So, we had a free trial class on Thursday. She was in a level 1 class with 5 other girls who had all been doing this for awhile. The floor work was okay, but she obviously didn't have the flexibility these other girls had. I imagine that will come with time. However, when they put that girl on the balance beam, it was like she'd been there her whole life. She had quite a knack for it, and wasn't scared at all. And yes, she did lose her balance and fall a couple times, but she didn't stay down for long. It was like she was made of rubber, bouncing, nearly flying, right back up.

And that kind of sums up Angelle. Head in the clouds, nearly flying, feet barely touching the ground. Defying gravity every chance she gets. Fearless. Fearless. Free. Spirited. Free-spirited.

I wonder if she flies in her dreams?


I received an e mail from "Enlightened Beings", which had a good bit of information about "ego" in it, which I am sharing now in this post.

"You know you’re living in your ego when thoughts like the following run through your head:

How can I make sure John doesn’t get that promotion and that I do?
How can I avoid paying child support and still get away with it?
I need to tell my wife that it’s my way or the highway.
Why am I always getting shafted, I deserve better!
No one realizes how important I am.
I’m ashamed of my race.
I always get taken advantage of. People really suck.
… and so on."

Remember, I think it's very important to not be in denial anytime we're living a more "ego-based" life in order to recognize it, then change it. Let that light shine through!!

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Summing up summer

I have one more week of summer vacation left. One more week of endless hours with my two daughters. One more week of carefree non-scheduling of my hours. How bittersweet it is.

This has been a summer of evolving. KD has grown so much....finally caught up with her pudginess with her height. Her hair has grown so she always looks like a girl now. She has many very amusing and sometimes inappropriate phrases which she's learned from her big sister and cartoon network. My least favorite example is when she points a stick at me and says "You must die". Thanks Angelle. I'm sure that will be a big hit at daycare!! She can sing "Twinkle twinkle little star", and she can count. She really does imitate her big sister and can almost sing "It's My Party" by Lesley Gore.

Angelle has had a blast learning how to be a performer. She sang in four Bill Riley contests and won 2nd place twice. From the first contest to the last, I watched her improve, become more confident, and learn how to win over an audience. She will sing at another over Labor Day weekend, but her new song is "It's My Party", and she'll be wearing a poodle skirt. This one is to qualify (already) for next year's State Fair. We'll continue to do these contests as they come up because Angelle enjoys them so much. She likes meeting other talented kids, and really and truly loves being on stage.

In early May Angelle could not yet ride her bicycle confidently. That has all changed and her bicycle has given her some new found independence. She rides and rides and visits with neighbors. What a big girl she is becoming.

As for me, it's been a summer of spiritual development. I started this blog and have really been exploring my own belief system. There is still much I have to learn, but much as been accomplished over these summer months.

I will be sad to leave KD in daycare, and see Angelle get on that school bus, and step foot in my own elementary music classroom to see 450 children every week. But I will also be joyful to know that I get to touch the lives of 450 children every week, and provide them with some music in their lives. And I know that I will in turn learn from them. May God bless us as we begin our new journeys into a new school year. God please be with KD and let her have fun with the other 2 year olds, and help her to understand that Mommy has to work, but will be with her every evening and weekend, and that another summer will arrive. God please be with Angelle and help her to read with confidence. Help her to learn how to deal with mean people, and let her bless others with her musical gift. And help me to teach with patience and love. Thank you for this awesome summer. Thank you thank you thank you!!


Peace is the inner nature of humankind. If you find it within yourself, you will then find it everywhere." ~Ramana Maharshi

Saturday, August 05, 2006

Luck o' the Irish

Last night my husband's band played at Jameson's, an Irish Pub. They are not an Irish band, but play rock and blues. However, my husband runs sound at Jameson's and they had a night with no band, so the owner invited his band to play. Amazingly enough, as I went into the park with my children after he left, and sat looking at the clover growing, I spotted a four leaf clover!! I have wanted to find one my entire life. Imagine my excitement!!! I showed the kids in the park, then put it in a plastic baggie and am now pondering ways to preserve it.

It's amazing what that little discovery did to my mood. I've been giddy ever since.

Oh, and that rock and blues band had a killer night at Jameson's. They had a huge crowd, my husband said it was "amazing", and it was a huge success.

Luck o' the Irish? Perhaps.

And the luck o' the Irish be with ye today, too, laddies and lassies!!! :-D

Wednesday, August 02, 2006

The Subject of "sin"

The other day I mentioned to a friend what my "personal" one of the 72 names of God was. It just happens to be "Revealing the Dark Side". This friend of mine has not read the book "72 Names of God", but has a chart with the names on it. I started to mention what I thought my name I am to find my light by first acknowledging my ego, or dark side. This friend is an extremely positive and light-filled person, and she said "Oh, I think it means that you bring out the light in others.", thereby changing my interpretation of what the name means to a much more positive, "oh aren't I great" kind of message. That was extremely kind and I am thankful that she sees me that way. I, however, knowing myself, know that my original interpretation will help me more and is more accurate.

I DO have ego, and I DO have a dark side. I DO do things and say things that I am ashamed of. I try not to, but try as I might, on occasion I make mistakes and I react instead of "pro-act". And this ego, dark side, these things I do which I regret, hide my light and make it harder to shine through. That's why there is this find our holy light, we must first find where it hides, which is behind our egos.

Is sin the things we do which are wrong or which we are ashamed of or regret having done? Or is sin our separateness from God? Or are they both one and the same? I believe we are striving to be more like God, to get closer to God, to share in God's consciousness. Christ came to Earth to die for our sins according to the Holy Bible. Did he die so that we would become closer to God? Did he come to tell us the Kingdom of God is within us? Did he come to tell us to love one another as we love ourselves?

Even Jesus said "Why do you call me good? I am not good.". Even Jesus knew that by being human, He also had ego.

I am all for being more positive, reading only the happy news, trying to live without fear, and trying to convince myself that I AM a wonderful being because, after all, God did make me and made me to be more like Him/Her. I really like warm fuzzies!! But, I also recognize that to find that wonderful being inside, I must acknowledge that ego so that I can make it go away. I can't get rid of it if I don't see it. I can't become a being of sharing without first seeing the "non-sharing" things I do and earnestly try to change them.

I pray that God will help me to see my own "dark side" so that I can eliminate it and let my light shine through.


Saturday, July 29, 2006

Statement of Belief

I've been spending alot of time this summer on personal spiritual development. I thought it might be helpful, especially to me, to sum up a few points into a sort of "statement of belief".

I believe in God, the Creator, whom I also refer to as "Universe". I believe Jesus was the son of God, as we are all God's children, and that Jesus was indeed here to "save" us from our own ego. Jesus made some very important statements of which some are "Love thy neighbor as thyself", and "The Kingdom of God is within (upon) you.", and "these things you shall do and more.". I believe that Jesus was able to tap into the Light within, therefore performing miracles, and doing many wondrous things during his short life here on Earth. And He said we could do MORE......

I do believe that the Light of the Creator (Holy Spirit?) is within each of us, hidden by our own egos. I believe we can reveal this Light and diminish our egos in different ways. One is through meditative prayer, which raises our vibrations. Another is (believe it or not) through suffering, although this way tends to be only temporary. Of course, having recently read the "72 Names of God", I do believe that by meditating on these names, one's light can shine through as well. These names, incidentally, actually help to transform ourselves into beings more closely connected to our Creator.

I believe that an attitude of gratitude helps to bring more abundance into our own lives, and that that is what our Creator truly deserves. I am so thankful for ALL of this. I am thankful for the hard times, for the great times, for the trees and the sky and the Earth, for my children, my family, my friends, the air that I breathe, this blessed moment..........

I also have come to believe that becoming a being of sharing should be one of my main goals. To be more like our Creator, who is a being of sharing, we must become the same. Through sharing we can experience a life of fulfillment and joy.

I do not believe it is my place to judge or persecute other religions. I practice religious tolerance and know that most people believe the way they were brought up to believe. I believe there is ONE Creator, ONE God, who is called by different names. And I believe that God did not create religions, but that people did. We are all on the same circular, horizontal path, but in different places along that path. I will even refrain from judging my evangelical Christian friends (no easy task for me, believe me) and let them be, even if they in turn judge me.

I believe that the Bible has been misunderstood over the centuries. I believe it is not to be taken literally, and that when one steps back from the literal statements, one can see the Truth that is written there more clearly.

I have experienced on this journey many ideas, thoughts, concepts that ring true for me. I believe that miracles still take place in this world. I believe that people have visions. I believe that my own mother saw Christ, just as she said she did. I believe we are far more capable of creating miracles ourselves than we think we are. I believe I should continue learning and growing, giving thanks, sharing, and worshipping. I am so thankful for being able to write this and for those of you who will read it.

God Bless!

Wednesday, July 26, 2006


Okay, I admit it. The big thing I really am trying to work on in my life is my finances. I have a good teaching career, own a house with my husband mortgage-free, but often find myself strapped by the end of every month. I am doing some good things like contributing to a college fund for Angelle, building both girls savings accounts, and of course, there are cello, piano, and soon to be gymnastics lessons in there, too. Of course, during the summer, there are swimming lessons, festivals, etc. etc.

So, whereas I am not living in poverty, I do find myself using the change at the bottom of my purse from time to time. I really want to improve this situation so that the worries of money disappear. My goal is not to become a milllionaire, win the lottery, or any such thing, (although I wouldn't refuse), but to have plenty of money every month that I don't have to expend any energy with worries about money. Make sense?

Well, this week I was finding myself in the same count the change at the bottom of my purse situation. I will get paid again on Monday, so it was only a week or so to go without having much. Last night the girls and I wanted to go to a smoke-free pub to support a project of my husband's. I thought it sure would be nice to be able to get a couple "shirley temples" while there for the girls. In the meantime I came across a coin I didn't know I had. It was an 1867 2 cent piece masquerading as a normal penny. I took it to the coin shop to see what it was worth. In it's condition, it was only worth $3, but I sold it to the man anyway, figuring $3 would come in handy. The truly amazing thing is that two Shirley Temples and a coke at the pub cost exactly, and I mean EXACTLY $3.00.

Earlier in the week we wanted to go to the pool. I was getting down there on my cash reserves, but realized we needed swim diapers for KD. (We have a season pass to the pool). So, we went to the store, and amazingly enough, I had JUST ENOUGH for a pack of swim diapers.....$7.50.

So, I am ending up with exactly what I need this week. I find that to be very encouraging.

Of the 72 Names of God, I have meditated on the "Power of Prosperity" name, the "Enough is Never Enough" name, the "Revealing the Dark Side" name, and a few others related to straightening out my financial situation.

I am encouraged and looking forward to whatever other synchronicities the Universe sends me.

Have a blessed and prosperous day. Crystal